It’s Your Birthday Today. so I Got You Contempt.

My Christmas Present to You Is in the Litter Box. Enjoy.

I Really Don’t Like People. It’s a Personal Thing.

If You’re Thinking About Ever Getting Another Cat, Forget It.

Oh, Is This Your Bed? I Don’t Think It’s Big Enough for Two.

I Know You’ve Got Mice. I’ve Got Problems Too.

Look. I Know We Have to Live Together. so Swallow the Baby Talk and Blow.

If I Could Drive… and I Could Buy My Own Cat Food… You’d Know Just How Much I Love You.

I Don’t Like Monk. Change the Channel.

If You Want to Pet Something, Get a Dog.

Phlat! That Tastes Like Milk from a Cow. Come On!

Good Morning. How Are You This Fine Morning? Great.

Look. If I Don’t Get 24 Hours Sleep, I Get Crabby.

You’re a Fool. You’re the Stupidest Person Alive! Genius Recognizes These Things.

I’m Sorry. I Can’t Help You. Well, Don’t Fall Down the Stairs Then.

This Look Isn’t Hatred. It’s Personal Loathing.

I’m Sorry. Did I Say I Like Dry Food?

Shut Up. I’m Sleeping. Turn the TV off for Once!

Did You… Is This Shrimp Flavor? Are You Kidding Me?

You’re a People Person. I’m a Cat Cat. This Isn’t Going to Work.

I’ll Wear a Collar If You Wear a Collar. Let’s Both Get Spayed.

You Can Neuter That Outside Cat, If It’ll Cure Your Craving.

You Can Take These Front Claws from My Paws over My Twitching Dead Body.

What? You Expect Me to Run to the Door? You Were Gone Like Five Minutes?

The Way I See It – This Is My House. You Have a Complaint, There’s the Litter Box.

I’m Getting Sleepy. You’re Really Very Boring.

I’ll Just Sit in This Window. Dance for Me.

I Cannot Stand Young Sheldon. Change the Flipping Channel.

Look at Me When I’m Ignoring You.

You Know What I Can’t Stand. Wait. Let’s Work on the Short List. You Know What I Love?

Cat Nip Ain’t What It Used to Be.

If You’re Thinking About Having a Baby and Ignoring Me, Forget It.

I Don’t Know What That Stink Is. What?

Oh Yeah. I’m Getting Up. Keep Shaking the Box.